25.9.11

my thoughts are racing
too fast for me to know
what it is I’m feeling
I wish they would flow
one minute I’m happy
smiling ear to ear
and then I get angry
and people start to fear

because after anger is violence
someone always gets the brunt
and then comes the remorse
but by then I’ve been shunned.
why can’t I control it,
the path it always takes?
If I know it’s gonna happen
can’t I stop for their sakes?

the answer is no I can’t
i have tried to stop before
i try to think about it
but my impulse control is poor.
Most days I’m too clingy
I hate when people leave
they think that I am bipolar
but no, I have BPD.

How do I stop being angry
at people who did nothing wrong?
All these intense emotions,
I wish that they were gone.
I want to be normal
forget what’s been done
to get rid of these feelings
and stop wanting to run…